If you and your teen are thinking about college, then the chances are very high that you’ve worried about the possibility of receiving the dreaded rejection letter.
You’re not alone. “Will I get in?” is the question that dominates college conversations, headlines, and social media feeds. Fear of the dreaded rejection from a prestigious college can become overwhelming. Consequently, entire websites and countless articles are built around helping students answer that question.
But there’s a fundamental problem to that thinking. Focusing too much on just getting in can derail your family’s college dreams.
Here’s the question I wish more families would ask:
Where will our teen thrive?
To dig into that thinking more specifically:
How do we choose a college that gives them the best chance to graduate and the best chance to grow?
That matters because far too few people talk about a troubling reality: college graduation rates in the United States are far lower than most families expect.
Getting admitted is only the beginning. Finishing is the goal.
As you and your teen build a college list, ask yourself these questions:
- Have we used trustworthy advice and reliable data to guide your decision?
- Can our family comfortably sustain the out-of-pocket costs for all four years?
- Do the academic programs and general education requirements align with our teen’s interests and strengths?
- Do the campus resources and student organizations support what they want to explore?
- Does the college’s location fit both their practical needs and personal preferences?
- Will the campus culture support the kind of experience that they want to discover?
- If my teen’s interests evolve or change, will they still be happy and engaged at this college?
- Is any scholarship we are counting on tied to a GPA our teen can realistically maintain?
- Are we relying too heavily on friendships or relationships that could change?
These questions matter because college is one of the biggest investments your family will make financially, emotionally, and academically.
The goal isn’t simply to earn an acceptance. The goal is to find a place where your teen can persist, adapt, grow, and graduate (or at least that’s what I prioritized with my teens). It’s critical to invest the time and energy needed to make an informed choice. That requires making campus visits, attending virtual events, conducting online research and more.
I’ve seen too many students focus almost entirely on “getting in,” only to end up at a school that wasn’t the right fit. Too often, that mindset leads to disappointment, debt, or detours.
Don’t just choose the most prestigious college that admits your teen. Instead, choose the one where your teen will thrive.
Fitz has dedicated the entirety of his 28 year career to encouraging higher education opportunities. He worked in the Vanderbilt, Duke Law and St. Lawrence admissions offices prior to serving as an enrollment management consultant for 200+ selective colleges around the country. He created Find The Right College to make trustworthy college counseling more accessible. Fitz is also the father of two teens so he also understands first-hand the challenges associated with a college search.
